Friday, October 2, 2015

IronMeg race report ramblings

First off.  I have typed, deleted, re-typed, edited, and everything else in-between of this blog.  I will never be able to adequately type out the day, but here is my attempt.  So.  Read on.

The amount of thoughts swirling around in my head over the reality that I am IronMeg is insane.  I could tell you about how the swim was longer feeling than I fathomed.  I could also tell you about how I didn't intend on having a 6 hour marathon.  But.  All of those things don't really matter in the span of the day.  There is one key point that matters; I finished; defying all thoughts within my head over the day.

Leading up to the day I had pondered quitting; I thought- what would happen if I got tired and decided to quit.  But when race week got here all those thoughts diminished and I knew I was going to finish.  I'm thankful for the confidence in myself, even though I simultaneously doubted everything, every second.

So.  Race day.  Geno and I started together and I was so thankful to have him there with me.  So, I swim. Check.  I got on my bike.  And.  10 miles into the bike my head started to throb-badly.  I've never experienced that.  So.  30 miles into the bike; it happened.  I started to panic-exactly what I tried so hard to fight against-I lost.  So from miles 30 to 95, not to be dramatic, but I actually want to make it as dramatic as possible.  I cried; I panicked; I freaked out.  No amount of words will ever be expressed of how those 5 hours really were.  From miles 70-95 I started to ponder how to quit.  I had it DOWN.  I knew the blog I was going to type; I was predetermining my future before getting there.  So.  I stopped.  I took off my helmet, and simply stood there; trying to regain myself to tell the volunteers that I was done.  When all of a sudden God Himself sent 4 athletes my way; 3 guys and a girl.  They asked me what I was doing, and I told them that this race isn't for me; that I was done.  And.  After a few minutes of talking it out, it clicked back that time didn't matter, and that I could finish this thing still.  So I begrudgingly got back on PoMegranate for 22 more miles, and actually enjoyed some of the bike course finally.  Jenna, Pink Jersey guy, and you other 2 dudes; I am now IronMeg because of you guys.  Thank you for saving my past 6 months of training.

The marathon was simply wonderful.  From my splits it looks like I hated it because of how slow I was going, but it really was an incredible experience.  The mental capacity I went through during those 26 miles is one in a million.  I ran with so many people it is simply beautiful.  I think everyone should experience the mental state of mind that happened; it is truly unbelievable the amount of force you have inside yourself to complete a hard thing, as a group.

There are so many ponderings about this day that keep reoccurring in my head.  The main one being mile 95.  That was my turning point.   That is where I had to decide why I was doing this.  And.  Honestly, my strength wasn't enough; anything I was offered wasn't enough.  I had to RELY; to JUMP into the emotion, the life, the experience of those around me.  Without them I wouldn't be an Ironman.  I would be a 'I made it to 95 because I was so tired from panicking and everyone would understand and tell me good job for trying but still not an Ironman'. 

I thought about a lot, yet nothing.  I sang a few songs.  I thought over the Jesus Calling devo I read that morning about my weakness being His.  I prayed for my friends in Augusta.   I talked, screamed, questioned, loved, despised so many attributes of God in those moments.  It was the most emotional and spiritual experience, yet not.  It was in the deepest panicking moments I oddly enough felt closest to the heart of the beast of IRONMAN.  The great miles isn't what makes someone an Ironman.  It's the miles and miles of every struggling pedal, yet persevering for the glorious ones that makes it all possible, and earning the title.

All 14 hours and 34 minutes all culminated to a life changing experience; not one moment; feeling empowered.  That I really can do anything I set my mind to with my village.  Hearing 'FIRST TIMER MEGAN ANDERSON. YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!' was/is a pretty cool moment.  That one moment the world was completely mine.  Thank you to Ann for staying around the extra hour and a half just to catch me and be the first one to tell me congrat's!  I can't wait to watch you ROCK IMCHATT in 2016. WHOOP WHOOP!

There are so many shout-out's that need to go out and I can't even begin to 'name drop'.  If you did ANY part of this process with me.  You were a part of that whole day; not just the finish line.  From Emma running watermelon classic with me, to Renee' riding her bike next to me randomly.  I needed everyone. I am thankful for Geno and Stephanie; my two Jackson buddies who I knew were on the course going through the same experience I was simultaneously.  I am proud of them for persevering and making a KICKBUTT race.  That is one thing I can't get over is how many people it really takes/took to get there.  I needed reliable people who would show up no matter what, and that is exactly what I was given during this season.  From my training partner Ellen to ride a zillion and one miles with me, and never doubted my ability, to my flawless FF staff/friends always listening.  It's been grand, and I will never be able to say how much love is in my heart for y'all.  I am sure I will do another one some day-but not this day.  Not next season.  That's too much to ask.

I can't go this whole blog without the 4 people who journeyed up to Chatt with me.  Dad, Dawn, Becca, and Renee'; you guys coined the 'journey' for journey to be IronMeg.  Never once did they complain about waking up; about listening to me non-stop ramble.  They did PERFECTLY, and I can't wait for my next one to bring them along.  From getting my bike, to going to the diner at 1 am; we truly had a blast.

So what's next? I am signed up to pace the Blues Marathon cuz why not, and then 2 buds from work, and myself are going to go run Houston Marathon.  HOW EXCITING!  And yes-that is it, and that's perfectly OK with me. :)

Some things I need to remember for next time:
-ADVIL ADVIL ADVIL
-2 pairs of shoes was the best idea ever.
-you can never have enough skin sake.  EVER.
-make sure you put aside 500 dollars for race week just cuz. TRUST. ME.

So.  There's that.  Journey to be Ironmeg.  Mission Accomplished.

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