8.5 weeks. I thought about trying to 'sugar coat' it all; by not writing how hard it is; but then I decided I put enough effort into everything else, that I am just here for myself, and I plan to just type, and make sure it *kinda* makes sense to whoever reads it.
I just felt like word vomiting what it's like for my training for IMCHATT. I am emotional, anti-social to those who don't own a bike, often irritable to those who love me most, and acquainted with 4am way too much. The best way to describe it is that I am simultaneously dying and living all the time. I am tired, but successful. Getting to prove to my body what it's capable of is incredible. I am getting stronger; mentally and physically. I can finally see my quad muscles! I can swim for days at this point it feels like. I am making the coolest friends on planet Earth who accept it all. I cry all the time. I question my sanity. I go back and forth of hating my bike to loving her.
I tell myself every hour of every day I am never doing this again.
I *try* to tell myself every hour of every day how thankful I am to be experiencing this.
I appreciate every single person that has invested any portion of their training and sewing it seamlessly into my own. For doing what I have written; for swimming next to me; for running faster even when you don't have to; for riding miles and miles. Whether you have joined me once or twice *too many peeps to name..you know who you are!*, become one of my many tri mom/friends *what up my group text of women that absolutely crack me up!*, or are my unofficial training partner *SHOUT OUT ELLEN YO!*, I would not have made it to 8 weeks with out you.
SO.
Here is what has been irking me this week. When I feel tired, sad, emotional, overwhelmed, or any not positive emotion and talk about quitting; and someone says, "But you can't quit!"
Let me get this straight for everyone.
Oh. I can quit. I can quit any day I choose.
Will I?
Nope.
But. I CAN. So there's that.
How to help me through the next 8.5 weeks: (technically 6.5 cuz of TAPER!)
~Tell me I am doing great.
~Let me ponder quitting, but graciously talk me out of it.
~Let me rant for 5 minutes about my kick ass long ride.
~I always enjoy food at this point...
~Tell me about your day-my brain needs to come out of the IM/running fog since that's all I'm engulfed in.
~Ask/share with me about Jesus times.
Which leads to...
I had the realization (with help from my coach) that my life is going to get even more crazy in August. I assumed it to be the hardest month of training, and it's finally here. And. I am in desperate need of some Jesus. One of my friends, JJ, was blogging and in one portion she talked about how we truly just need Jesus to satisfy us. That social media likes, food, success, or finishing the training schedule to the T will not do what we want. Seeing I am exhausted basically all the time, my satisfaction has got to originate elsewhere; Christ.
Jesus time is a lot like a training plan. Both are things that you love, but can easily get caught up into doing routinely, and forget the love behind it all.
So here's to working on having my satisfaction in Him alone these next 2 months, as I am continually being satisfied via training, and to re-falling in love with training via Christ.
Sorry there are no pictures.
Til next time.
No comments:
Post a Comment